An experiment was conducted to see if greyhounds could compete with the speed of a cheetah.
When the cages opened, folks were shocked that the cheetah didn't move. They asked the race coordinator what had happened and why the cheetah didn’t move.
“Sometimes trying to prove that you're the best is an insult to your self-worth.
There is no need to lower yourself to other people’s level to make them understand your skills, qualities and contributions.
It is better to save your energy for more worthy endeavors.
A cheetah uses its speed to hunt, not to prove to dogs that it is faster and stronger.
Don't waste your time and energy proving your value to folks who simply don’t possess the skill set to appreciate your value and worth."
Validation will never come in situations where the others involved are not able, or willing, to see or understand your full value. They won't even know how to measure or articulate what you bring to the table. Trying to feel valued in a situation like this will just result in feeling psychologically unsafe - frustrated, gas lit and sometimes exploited. You should not have to justify your value over and over again. If the team you are on tells you to shrink or slow down, you are probably not in the right role.
Taking power back is linked to choosing a space/people/team that honor all that you have to offer and continually demonstrate the desire to grow alongside you.